难舍难分2
返回本版】  【发表帖子】  【回复帖子 浏览量  637      回帖数 0
StevenCHJ    等级  

0 楼 发表于  2007/1/4 4:16:28    编 辑   


    后来,她遇见了森。 

    那天,她从冷清的站台走出来时,正是那个城市寂寥的清晨。 

  那个城市有很多古老的欧式建筑。有忧郁的气息。清凉的风携着海潮湿的雾 
气,在黎明的街道上穿梭。 

  她没有带一点儿行李,双手空空的,在空旷的街上闲走。 

  她想找一个建行,等到上班,取钱。因为来之前,她仅用了二分钟决定。她 
的兜里仅剩下回程的车票钱。她从未到过那个海滨城市。 

  来的理由是:散心。 

  朝霞散开,街上的人渐渐增多,平静又麻木的开始千篇一律的生活。她在一 
所小小的建行门前坐下来。天空阴霾,有许多相似的女子等车上班。她们穿精细           
的套装,优雅的包里面是高级化妆品和一小瓶香奈儿。或许还有味道淡薄的女士 
香烟。                                                                             
                                                                                 
  没有谁会去注意,这个坐在台阶上穿宽大的棉布T恤洗得发旧的牛仔裤,没有 
化妆,眼神有些疲倦的大学生模样的女孩。                                                       
                                                                                 
    取完钱后她乘公车,一直到城市边缘的海域。               
                                                                                 
  她以为,那里会有碧蓝的海水,纯净的天空。可她忘了,今天是个阴天,空 
气中有雨的味道。                                                             
                                                                                 
   她一个人站在海边,很久。她忘记穿她喜欢的白裙子。 

    傍晚时分,过来一个男人。年轻的,穿白棉布T恤,英气逼人。他的眼神像两 
泓泉水,专注又自由。                                                   
                                                                                 
  他走到她身边。他轻声说:你好。                                             
                                                                                 
  非常清朗纯净的声音。                                                         
                                                                                 
  她说,你不是应该出现在这里的人。                                               
                                                                                 
  他说,你也不是。                                                               
                                                                                 
  相视一笑。她闻到清新的KENZO的青草味香水。                                    
                                                                                 
  下雨的夜里,她在宾馆接到他的电话。                                                 
                                                                                 
  他问,可以出来吗。                                                             
                                                                                 
  她说,当然。                                                                   
                                                                                 
  他又问,不考虑一下?                                                             
                                                                                 
  她笑了,说,已经考虑好了。                                                           
                                                                                 
  她看到他的车停泊在宾馆门口。是一辆白色的尼桑,她喜欢的颜色。                                         
                                                                                 
  他穿白T恤,白棉布裤子,蓝色休闲鞋。静静靠着车门等待。干静又温暖的笑 
容,象久违的和煦暖风,瞬间竟将她浸润。                                         
                                                                                 
  清冷的午夜,夜空有冰凉的星光。宾馆附近有些幽暗的门口,静静泊着一辆 
车。两个安静的人,在音乐里淡淡的聊天。相通的灵魂总是轻易的就接近。                           
                                                                                 
  凌乱的雨丝随风漫飘,车里,他放《CASABLANCA》。                               
                                                                                 
  在过后的的岁月里,记忆中关于他的画面,始终回旋着这支曲子。定格成梦 
的背景,经久不散。                                                       
                                                                                 
  他们从未问过对方的背景。她不知道他的工作或生活。但她知道他在朝九晚 
五的上班。然后,每个周末,他要在高速公路上开三个小时的车赶到她的城市看 
她。                                 
                                                                                 
  她说,你太累了。不要来了。                                                     
                                                                                 
  他说,我这么远来,有我自己的理由。                                             
                                                                                 
  他们经常谈论他的女友。照片上的女孩,是养尊处优的都市女孩形象。               
                                                                                 
  他说,她在复旦。她很优秀。她的追求者中,有很多富家子弟。                       
                                                                                 
  她说,能选择你证明她很有眼光。                                                 
                                                                                 
  淡淡的怅惘慢慢在心中铺散开去。   

    心中软弱的象一条丝。                                             
                                                                                 
  他们凌晨坐在街头的冷饮摊前吃冰激凌。她记得他买给她的牌子是和路雪的           
“真爱”。                                                                       
                                                                                 
  那时,他们认识一个月。                                                       
                                                                                 
  他问,喜欢海吗?                                                               
                                                                                 
  她说是的,非常爱。                                                           
                                                                                 
  他说,等你暑假放假带你去看海。                                                         
                                                                                 
  她问,开车去吗?                                                               
                                                                                 
  他说,是啊。我们把车开到海滩。                                                 
                                                                                 
  然后,他们就真的去了海滩。她看到海滩上也停着一部尼桑。一对陌生的青 
年男女,在车里谈笑风生。               
                                                                                 
  他们是恋人吗?她为自己的问题感到可笑。                                       
                                                                                 
  初秋的晚上,他问,想去我家吗? 
                                                                                 
  她带着脆弱的笑容说,好。                                                     
                                                                                 
  途中,她看到雨水沿着窗玻璃滑落时,突然湿了眼睛。五年前林就在这样的 
雨夜搂着她,送她回宿舍。她有五年没有哭了,几乎要忘了泪水的味道。在明明 
灭灭的高速公路上,她轻轻的握住了他纤长的手指。他略一迟疑,然后小心的握 
住了她的手。             
                                                                                 
  这一迟疑,留给她刻骨铭心的记忆。 

  她问,你看雨水在玻璃上流淌,像什么? 

  他回答说,你说呢? 

  她说,像流泪。                                                                 
                                                                                 
  他的家干净又随意。他给她煮咖啡,她爱喝原汁的咖啡,不加糖和奶沫。然 
后,她看到,枕头下露出的一角,是她送给他的照片。                               
                                                                                 
  还留着吗?她问。淡淡的声音。                                                 
                                                                                 
  她看到了。他说。                                                             
                                                                                 
  她飞快的抬起头。但他的脸上没有任何表情。                                     
                                                                                 
  你们在冷战?                                                                 
                                                                                 
  有几个月了。                                                                 
                                                                                 
  你不解释?                                                                   
                                                                                 
  她像一辆豪华的车,我有幸登上她,却不能驾驭方向。                         
                                                                                 
  他们一直聊。用微沙的,淡淡的声音。午夜时分,他送她回宾馆。 

  从这一夜开始,他开始轻轻吻她的额头来告别。               
                                                                                 
  棉T恤被海雾打的潮湿。她捡一枚枚透明的贝壳,衣兜里装的沉甸甸的。              
                                                                                 
  她不知道这么美丽的生灵,在家中的清水里会不会成活。                           
                                                                                 
  车子发动离去。                                                               
                                                                                 
  寂寥的海滩空无一人。                                                         
                                                                                 
  那一晚,他们上车,他放音乐。                                                 
                                                                                 
  他说,今天有礼物送给你。                                          
                                                                                 
  是一个小巧的口杯。上印:特别的爱,给特别的你。                                 
                                                                                 
  她淡淡一笑,说,我什么都不要。                                                   
                                                                                 
  她在心中说,爱在咫尺,却是天涯。                                             
                                                                                 
  他说,我开始有些喜欢你了,是爱情中的喜欢。                                     
                                                                                 
  他说,她的父亲在海边给她购置了一套别墅。                                       
                                                                                 
  他说,半年后她将去美国留学。                                                   
                                                                                 
  他说,我还有礼物要给你。                                                       
                                                                                 
    一直,都是他在说。 
    
    他突然轻轻搂过她,专注的吻她。                                               
                                                                                 
  朦胧中她说:森,我一直爱你。                                                 
                                                                                 
  爱的绝望又心死。                                                             
                                                                                 
  她握着他的手。他修长的手指,寂寞的和她的手指缠绕在一起。                     
                                                                                 
  她轻抚他光滑的手背,他的皮肤上有淡淡的清香。                                 
                                                                                 
  慢慢地,她抽出自己的手,说,你该走了。                                            
                                                                                 
  他深深的看她。                                                               
                                                                                 
  然后吻她的额头,发动车,迅速的消失在浓重的夜色里。                           
                                                                                 
  彼此都没有苛求对方。她知道,这样完美的男人,是不存在的。他来去的足 
迹,象烟尘一样,喧嚣、寂静。                                                     
                                                                                 
    她决定,离开他。 
            
    森在没有她任何音讯的第三天,收到她的E-mail。 

    “漱了漱口水,吐出一整个昨天。有人这么告诉我,欢喜从来都不会长久, 
只有不堪回首的记忆才时刻被人提起,成为伤口历历在目。如果那首歌谣在江面 
上流传了许久,那一定是由于里面含了莫大的心酸。 

  有一天我开始咳嗽。在公车上咳。在打字的时候咳。在上课的时候咳。在吃 
饭的时候咳。甚至在梦中咳。每次一开始,就无法停止。我弯下腰去,双手掐进 
了颈部。我咳的时候想要扔弃某样我所痛恨的东西。它依附着我阴魂不散。我曾 
经那么想摆脱了它。 

  直起身来的时候阳光明媚。我想起记得要告诉他我和□□女人一样。要呼吸。 
会咳嗽。有蛀牙。 

  微笑的时候感觉没有什么不同。也会有脂粉欠进皱纹的一天。也会有脑满肠 
肥的一天。平静地算计每天的菜钱。醉生梦死是一种奢侈。那时候我还那么年轻。 
有一天我看着电视睡了过去,有一天我不再理会那些收藏了很久的CD,有一天我 
有了一双红肿粗糙的手,有一天我的眼睛不再有了神采。 

  所以亲爱的。我的失望是一根利刺一头扎进了我的心里,如影随形,摆脱不 
了。它象咳嗽那么讨厌。原谅我自私的离开。那些心走得比时间快的人,容易在 
开头就看到了结局。而年轻是我仅有的握在手心的东西。 

  记得我有一张一直微笑的面孔,到老死都不变。记得等到风景都看透,你要 
陪我看细水长流。 

  昨天,你问我,那坛“醉生梦死”到了我的手里,我该怎么办。 

  我微笑不语。 

  可是亲爱的我不会喝。我不要那么空白简单的快乐。如果快乐没有了出口, 
它会和伤口一样疼痛泛滥,成为灾难。 

  我放它在你黑色的咖啡里。我放它在你床头的茶杯里。我用它浸泡你每一件 
风尘仆仆的衣服。我用它浇灌你房间每一棵深蓝深蓝的植物。 

    ‘想走出你控制的领域,却走进你安排的战局。我没有坚强的防备,也没有 
后路可以退。’ 

    你是我在大海边走的时候,听到的歌声。来自对岸,但是我没有船可以摆渡。 
   
  让我们慢慢地彼此遗忘。”                                                               
                         
  她像水滴一样的蒸发。森再也无法找到她。                                                       
                                                                                 
  只是,在她心中永远不能遗忘,那个英俊的,素净的男人,常常整夜徘徊在 
她的梦里。 

    她开始抽烟,她的烟抽的凶猛。她常疲倦的靠在床头,熟练的吐出一串串烟 
圈。 

  她开始承认了人是海底的鱼的观点。自由、盲目。                                 
                                                                                 
  一年后,她应聘到湖南电视台。在广告部做事,整天忙碌。                                   
                                                                                 
  吃饭时,身边俪影纤纤。那些本地的时尚又高傲的女孩子们,聚在一起谈笑 
风生。她穿棉衬衣的瘦弱的身影,自灵魂深处涌出彻骨的寒冷来。                       
                                                                                 
  深夜里,一再一再地失眠。她打开电脑,在网络上越走越远。                       
                                                                                 
  想起小时侯,她遥望着越飞越远的蒲公英,问妈妈,它能飞多远?                 
                                                                                 
  她想起森来看她。她看到他的车。她向他用力的挥手。这一个寂寞的姿势, 
让她瞬间热泪如倾。                                                                       
                                                                                 
  三个月后,她一声不响的背着简单的行李,回到她所熟悉的城市。                   
                                                                                 
  然后打电话给台里,辞职。                                                   
                                                                                 
  追逐自由是她的天性。                                                         
                                                                                 
  她独自去北京。在北大的校园里,明丽的阳光下,看那些平静的、如水般轻 
轻流淌着的青春。回来后,她生病了。                                               
                                                                                 
  深夜,她在安静的房间里做一些琐碎的事情。看书。浇花。整理房间。用一 
只透明的玻璃杯喝清水。照镜子。写作。 

  然后打开电脑,上传她做的主页。                                               
                                                                                 
  有时侯,过程就是结局。                                                               
                                                                                 
  同年七月,她应聘进入一家外企,有着高薪的待遇,不变的是依然整天地忙 
碌。                                   
                                                                                 
  她在办公室里喝浓郁的蓝山,下班后回到租来的大大的房子里,第一件事情 
1
表情
所有内容均为会员自愿发表,并不代表本站立场.