成长笔记(二)
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cctianqi    等级  

0 楼 发表于  2007/4/23 13:29:39    编 辑   


                     何必在乎                                                    
                                                                                 
一直都以为我是那种不在乎自己的人,因为我很在乎别人的看法,                       
                                                                                 
而我的轴心又从来都不是自己。有一天和好朋友聊天,他抱怨我                         
                                                                                 
在不开心时总是肆意地折磨自己,忽略了关心我的人的感受。我                         
                                                                                 
说:“抱歉,我连自己都不在乎了,所以也无法在乎你们”。“                         
                                                                                 
不对,”他的语气忽然强硬起来“其实你是太在意你自己了,在                         
                                                                                 
意你心里的那点伤,那点痛。”一下子,我无言以对。是的,我                         
                                                                                 
不得不承认,就为了逃避那缠绕不去的伤痛,为了获得内心片刻的                        
                                                                                 
宁静,我用尽了一切可能的办法躲避整个世界。我容易沉入幻想,                       
                                                                                 
因为幻想让我的心得到满足;我躲在自己构建的童话城堡中,不                         
                                                                                 
愿面对现实,只因为现实让我心中酸楚。一切都是为了那颗脆弱                         
                                                                                 
而敏感的心。可是只是因为那颗心,我挥霍了我的健康,挥霍了                         
                                                                                 
我的青春。多少次的夜里徘徊,在别人都在为前途而奔忙的时候,                       
                                                                                 
我却为了心中的那点伤痛沮丧不已,我安慰自己,用那句科大人                         
                                                                                 
常用的话:“我又到了颓废期了”。我竟不曾反问,这颓废期怎                         
                                                                                 
么如此频繁而漫长?我又有多少的时间来被这颓废期消耗?我想,                       
                                                                                 
我是否真应该虐待一下我的心,藉以安慰一下我的灵魂,让我的                         
                                                                                 
身体喘口气。在这喘气的时间补上我浪费掉的青春。                                   
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